Isn't it scary what music can do to you?
I swear, I'm just listening randomly to online music and it's so weird.
The last song was a happy techno song and I was totally loving it.
Then this screamo song came on and I felt like crying.
Don't get me wrong: I love screamo. The lyrics were just so sad though.
But even though I'm sad I'm still enjoying the music. Isn't it strange?
I miss all my friends who went to a different high school. I miss all the friends I could have recieved by going to that school. (I guess that couldn't really be missing them though because I never met them...)
I chose to go to my school though. I have made new friends. But I feel...alone.
I swear, I'm bi-polar.
Alright, I'm not. But just a hour or so ago I was telling my friend that I'm glad I have emotions because feeling numb is lame.
Now I wish I was numb.
But you know what?
I'm ok with it.
Stuff happens right?
No, I'm lying. I'm not ok with feeling alone.
Have you ever been in a crowd and felt unknown even when people are talking to you?
The sad thing is...I don't even know what's bothering me.
It has nothing to do with Daniel. I do know that. He can go to the dance without me. I really don't mind. I hope he has fun. In fact, when I think of the whole situation, my mind clears.
Is that normal?
When I think about life though, that's where the problem is.
I feel...
Stuck.
Trapped.
Unloved.
Is that normal?
posted by Esther @ 8:36 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Esther. I found your name from Becca Blogs and thought I'd check out your blog. To answer your question, "Is it normal to feel unloved?"...in my experience, "Yes, it is normal".
You see, it is easy to feel alone and unloved and the more we concentrate on those feelings, the easier and more reoccuring they tend to get. In reality, you are very much loved. If you sit down and write out all the good things in your life and people who care about you, you will see that your "feelings" and "reality" aren't always in tune with eachother. The reality is, that you are loved and have a blessed life in certain ways. Keeping our feelings in check is a never ending struggle. Even if everyone in my life lets me down or doesn't give me attention when I need it, I know that Jesus Christ loves me. He loves me so much he died for my sin so I could be made righteous before God.
Music can influence our feelings greatly. I think you are very observant to see that when you listen to something uplifting it makes you feel light and happy. When you listen to things that are sad, marose or dark, you tend to feel bad. I think it is very intelligent of you to notice that. Not many teenagers would takl about the reality of music influence. I'm impressed.
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